Thursday, May 18, 2006

Duck and Cover: God Punishes Seattle

Is anyone still listening to Pat Robertson? How did anyone ever think he was credible enough to run for President? Oh, wait, it was back when we had a Republican party that actually cared what we moderates had to say and the right-wingers had to run their own candidate. But I digress...

Robertson is chock full of wacky predictions these days, his latest straight from the big man himself. From "The 700 Club" via WFTV in Florida : (Are you kidding? Do you think *I* watch "The 700 Club"?)

"If I heard the Lord right about 2006, the coasts of America will be lashed by storms," Robertson said May 8. He added specifics in Wednesday's show. "There well may be something as bad as a tsunami in the Pacific Northwest," he said.

I can't decide if he needs to move to this claptrap from CBN to The Psychic Network or join the guys from Ghost Hunters on SciFi. On the other hand, if he's got a direct link to God, I wonder if he could find out something useful, like what kind of season the Colts are going to have this year.

Make sure you check back in this space in case there actually *is* a tsunami in the Pacific Northwest. What could God possibly have against Seattle? It seems like in Robertson's world anything bad that happens is punishment for sin, so I'm trying to think what God has against all those coffee drinkers and grunge rockers. Wouldn't Hollywood be a better target? (Although, he might want to warn Kirk Cameron who's doing the Left Behind films.) What about that bastion of decadence, that Babylon by the Sea, San Francisco? Wouldn't it be a great tsunami target? (I mean, as long as we're killing sinners, all those foodies should be up for grabs, right?) Maybe it's an indictment of alcohol -- maybe everything will be spared but the vineyards. Or maybe, just maybe, Bill Gates really did sell his soul. Puts a whole new spin on the Microsoft "evil empire", doesn't it?


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