Wednesday, April 27, 2005

What's on Jesus' iPod?

I don't love San Francisco columnist Mark Morford. In fact, I think he's the worst kind of liberal, the kind that does nothing but complain, and complains in a bitter, angry, nasty way. But read today's column -- it's pretty wonderful. Does Jesus have an iPod?! Of course he does! Now as to his contention that Jesus is the original liberal...that's another issue entirely. Morford sees the Mac, iPod and Jesus as the holy trinity with a healthy helping of Steve Jobs in a special role as Mary Magdelene. In the end, though, he gets it. Jesus doesn't just have holy roller music that praises him.
Jesus knows this Big Obvious Secret: All music celebrates God, because God is merely another word for life and life is merely another word for "hot divine energy force" and "hot divine energy force" is merely another word for, well, "Steven Tyler." So there you go.

More on Jesus' play list:
Lots of old Bob Dylan
Little bit of Peter, Paul & Mary
CCR's "Fortunate Son"
Buffalo Springfield's "For What It's Worth"
Barry McGuire's "Eve of Destruction"
Youngbloods' "Get Together"
Edwin Starr's "War (What Is it Good For)"
Eminem's "Mosh,"
"Dust in the Wind" (even Jesus likes the 70s cheeseball hits)
Old Deep Purple
Obscure Zeppelin(Jesus gets all the good bootlegs)
Old Jim Croce
Nick Drake
Iron & Wine's "Woman King" EP,
Ani DiFranco
Old Cat Stevens. (Jesus just shrugs that silly religio-political stuff right off. It's just who he is.)
Gospel? Hell yes.

Lots of Aerosmith, especially "Get Your Wings" "Come Together" (both versions) and "Give Peace a Chance" and "Imagine" (the original and the dark, beautiful remake by A Perfect Circle)
"Hair" soundtrack, for one (he blasts "Good Morning Starshine" whenever he makes waffles on Sunday mornings).
"Les Miz", "Jesus Christ Superstar"
Jesus has an advance copy of the new Coldplay. He liked "God Put a Smile on Your Face," but thinks "Clocks" is a lot better.
Jesus really loves Marilyn Manson's cover of Depeche Mode's "Personal Jesus"
the Stones' "Sympathy for the Devil" and "You Can't Always Get What You Want"
Eva Cassidy's "Live at Blues Alley" Nina Simone. Fiona Apple. Joss Stone.
Diana Krall's version of Tom Waits' "Temptation" makes his holy toes curl, as does Madeleine Peyroux's positively celestial take on Leonard Cohen's "Dance Me to the End of Love." a few Sade songs. And Gwen Stefani makes him happy. And he has a secret thing for Kylie Minogue. But then again, so does God.

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